My favorite strategy for allowing fear, anger, fighting and strife to pass is to zip my lips.
I pucker up. Big time. Something neat happens; my fear dissolves or the person I am with dissolves their fear.
Grievances are aired. But not on my end. Some cry, complain or flat out break down. Anyone angry with me eventually apologizes. But being quiet, I seek no apology. Nor do I desire to be right.
I simply love being quiet because love, peace and serenity eventually overtakes you and I in a state of silence. Expect a little ego chatter at first of course. Ego always wants to get a few shots in.
Why This Works
Arguments, blow ups and all manner of resistance indicates someone resists some fear. Resisting fear influences most mere mortals to project fear-pain onto other human beings by:
with other people.
Being silent in the presence of an agitated person allows fears to arise, to be felt and to dissolve so all parties return to their true state: love.
I developed the skill of never holding grudges more than a few minutes. How? I sit with my fears. I observe my fears. Fears dissolve. I return to the love that I really am.
How About Quiet?
Be prepared to watch your fear manifest as pain, anger, agitation and combativeness, the next time you feel these uncomfortable emotions.
Practice observing these fears versus reacting to the fears by projecting onto other human beings.
This skill takes a while to develop. Be gentle with yourself.
- doing Kriya yoga
- doing yin yoga
on a daily basis to expand your awareness. Expanding your awareness helps you observe, feel and release fears in quiet so you do not project fears onto other human beings.
Watch how quickly the quality of your life improves the moments you begin observing your fears – and the fears of others – from silence.
I never beat myself up if I get angry, annoyed or combative here and there. I am not Jesus. Nor am I the Buddha. But practicing observing my fears in silence and remaining quiet when people react in fear-pain to me gave me clarity in watching my feelings versus reacting to these energies.
Set an intent to be quiet in stressful moments. Eventually, you return to your natural state of peace, love and calm by sitting in silence regularly.
Instead of fighting someone, why not be quiet to observe your emotions? Why not silence yourself to observe the emotions of people who try to get a rise out of you?
I just remained quiet with an agitated person a few times today. Watching reactions versus judging, fighting or debating allowed me to remain serene and also coaxed the other person to share their fears.
Every moment in silence reveals you to who you really are: love, forgiveness and compassion. Spend more time in quiet to allow your higher self to surface.