For years, I wrestled with the question, “Why don't I get invited to more things?” I would see pictures of people hanging out and having fun together and think, “I'm a great guy; why don't they invite me?” Eventually, I figured it out. Here is what I figured out and what you may need to do if you find yourself in this situation.
Why Don’t I Get Invited to More Things?
The Wrong Question
If you are struggling with this issue, you may be asking the wrong question like I was. I was constantly asking myself, “Why am I not getting invited to more things?” but what I really should have been asking myself is, “Why don't I invite people to more things?”!
Why don't I invite people to more things?
Change the question, and you'll find your answer.
Create spaces for people to socialize and invite them to those places! Stop waiting around for everyone to invite you, and start inviting them. They may be thinking what you have been thinking, “Why don't I get invited to more things?”! Here's the key. If both you and your potential friends are waiting on an invite, you'll be waiting a long time!
If both you and your potential friends are waiting on an invite, you'll be waiting around for a long time!
Stop waiting, and be the one who reaches out.
Invite people to do things you want to do!
Don't Get Discouraged
Please realize that if this is new to you, you will get many people saying they can't come when you invite them. That's perfectly normal! Don't beg them to go, and don't get discouraged. Invite someone else and ask them again later. Do that long enough, and more than likely, some of them will start returning the favor, and you'll never have to ask the original question again. If you consistently invite others, there is a good chance you will even get to the point where you have to make choices about which invitations to accept.
If you are struggling with starting up conversations or building relationships, try reading up on the available research on this subject. There are many excellent books out there for that, like Click: The Magic of Instant Connections. There are more suggestions in the relationship section of my top book recommendations for personal growth.