Success seemed to find me during stages of my blogging career.
Failure seemed to find me during stages of my blogging career.
Life is a series of cycles until you level off.
I am currently intent on leveling off by training my mind for sustained periods daily. Going within revealed months and even years of blogging – and life – cycles. The ups and downs, stages, seasons and patterns unfolded perfectly for me. But this is only because I honored my cycles after being in complete denial for many years.
I hated myself for failing. I applauded myself for succeeding. I slowly realized that feeling peaceful and being truly helpful were the answers. Establishing this frame of mind required me to level off.
Success Then Not
When I created Blogging From Paradise I experienced great worldly success.
Money and traffic came easily based on prior work, my clarity and most importantly, because the cycle hinged on me experiencing worldly success.
9 years later, I experienced a series of up-down cycles based on emotions I needed to face, feel and release in order to grow. I attempted to will success but no matter my effort I could not replicate my early days of blogging success. At times I wanted to pull my hair out.
For example, my blogging profits stalled for a while because self-sabotage plagued my campaign. My blogging courses and blogging eBooks sold less and less not because the content seemed unhelpful but because unconscious fears steered my campaign. Making matters worse, seasoned, pro bloggers loved the courses and eBooks. What gave? My unconscious mind, that's what the issue was. But the issue placed me in a cycle I needed to experience to purge fears and to feel more at peace.
I feared being punished, abused, violated and deeply hurt because I never fully embraced fears long pushed out of awareness from childhood trauma. Does a guy who deeply fears being punished, abused, violated and deeply hurt put himself out there generously, genuinely and freely, as prospering bloggers do?
It’s a wee bit tough to make steady money when you fear doing all the things required to make steady money. My conscious mind tried to will myself to collaborate, to network and to be truly helpful. But when results did not come together quickly I punished myself, panicked, flipped out and bailed on a proven blogging system many times over the years because my unconscious fears called the shots during this season.
This seemingly dark cycle played itself out over the past year after some highs and lows. Ok; after a few highs and many lows.
Various events helped trigger the pulsating fears long buried, pushed out of my awareness. The sickness and death of loved ones, decision to give up virtually all physical possessions and choosing to be nomadic all made me face fears from my childhood.
Expressing and letting go of each fear leveled me out. Feeling each fear proved to be a brutal experience. But greater peace of mind is worth a few intense moments.
Life seems less a rollercoaster and more a smooth ride most of the time, at least, these days.
Honor your cycles.
Take your time.
Be aware of the highs and lows until you judge less and embrace cycles more.
Respect your seasons.
But gradually understand how the highs and lows, ups and downs, cycles, seasons and patterns do fade away if you face your unconscious fears.
You’ll have seen everything under the sun.
Note how old people seem relaxed no matter what happens. Old folks generally have seen it all, learned their lessons and nothing phases them because each has faced most if not all of their fears.
You can do this now in your 20’s, 30’s or 40’s. Time is no real factor because leveling off is a fear-diving exercise not a study in living 80 years.
However, you will need to be patient in order to smoke out the unconscious fears required to be more peaceful.
I am deep diving.
Are you with me?