Do You Try to Befriend People Not Resonant with You?

by Ryan Biddulph

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One common flaw seems to plague humans.

Human beings waste precious time and energy trying desperately to befriend people not resonant with them. You know what I mean. I did it. You did it. Perhaps you do it, now. Maybe you desperately try to befriend, bond with or connect with someone for low energy reasons. Family seems to be a culprit. People try to be good sons or daughters, good sisters, good parents or good brothers by trying too darn hard to force relationships with fellow family members who simply do not vibe with them.

Imagine someone in your family who lives in survival mode. Life feels scary to this crowd. Work a job. Enjoy the week. Give 40 years for a steady paycheck. If you chose to be a free, dream-chasing entrepreneur, why try so desperately to befriend someone like this you have little to nothing in common with, save growing up in the same house?

Trying to befriend someone who:

  • gives you negative advice
  • ignores you because you reflect their fears back to them
  • you cannot have a genuine, honest conversation with for fear of triggering their anger
  • shares vastly different core values

solely because the individual is family, a former friend or someone you feel a false sense of loyalty to wastes your time and energy. Even worse; energy spent trying to befriend poor matches should be spent befriending excellent matches. Resonant friends await. Peaceful people want to befriend you. Glowing examples to follow want in. But letting go poor matches is step #1 to allow in perfect matches.

Stop Forcing Family Friends

My family *is* good for me. I am friendly with everyone in my family. We love each other deeply.

But I likely will never spend a bunch of time connecting with anyone in my family because we have not enough in common. I love my dad and sisters deeply but I do not force relationships with them by trying to get them deeply interested in traveling, building a business or any interests we find non-resonant. We will always be close but since we share different values, beliefs and lives in most regards we will not spend a ton of time visiting with one another. Never mind how I circle the globe and my family does not vibe with traveling.

My dad and I have plenty in common and much not in common. My sisters and I have plenty in common and much not in common. I don't force anything between us because even though we are close in our own special way I simply spend most time and energy with world travelers, entrepreneurs and people who share most of my interests, as my dad and sisters spend most time with resonant folks.

We keep in touch because we love each other but we live our own lives, too. I am grateful my parents taught me this lesson growing up.

Most of humanity feels depressed, guilty and a bit weighed down by attempting to force close, intimate, strong friendships with family members and old friends solely based on being blood relatives or former buddies when each person shared different values.

Stop trying to force relationships. Connect with resonant folks. One can deeply love family and former friends while spending most time and energy bonding with resonant humans.

Allow friendships to form organically.

About the Author 

Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph helps you learn how to blog at Blogging From Paradise.

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