One common flaw seems to plague humans.
Human beings waste precious time and energy trying desperately to befriend people not resonant with them. You know what I mean. I did it. You did it. Perhaps you do it, now. Maybe you desperately try to befriend, bond with or connect with someone for low energy reasons. Family seems to be a culprit. People try to be good sons or daughters, good sisters, good parents or good brothers by trying too darn hard to force relationships with fellow family members who simply do not vibe with them.
Imagine someone in your family who lives in survival mode. Life feels scary to this crowd. Work a job. Enjoy the week. Give 40 years for a steady paycheck. If you chose to be a free, dream-chasing entrepreneur, why try so desperately to befriend someone like this you have little to nothing in common with, save growing up in the same house?
Trying to befriend someone who:
- gives you negative advice
- ignores you because you reflect their fears back to them
- you cannot have a genuine, honest conversation with for fear of triggering their anger
- shares vastly different core values
solely because the individual is family, a former friend or someone you feel a false sense of loyalty to wastes your time and energy. Even worse; energy spent trying to befriend poor matches should be spent befriending excellent matches. Resonant friends await. Peaceful people want to befriend you. Glowing examples to follow want in. But letting go poor matches is step #1 to allow in perfect matches.
Stop Forcing Family Friends
My family *is* good for me. I am friendly with everyone in my family. We love each other deeply.
But I likely will never spend a bunch of time connecting with anyone in my family because we have not enough in common. I love my dad and sisters deeply but I do not force relationships with them by trying to get them deeply interested in traveling, building a business or any interests we find non-resonant. We will always be close but since we share different values, beliefs and lives in most regards we will not spend a ton of time visiting with one another. Never mind how I circle the globe and my family does not vibe with traveling.
My dad and I have plenty in common and much not in common. My sisters and I have plenty in common and much not in common. I don't force anything between us because even though we are close in our own special way I simply spend most time and energy with world travelers, entrepreneurs and people who share most of my interests, as my dad and sisters spend most time with resonant folks.
We keep in touch because we love each other but we live our own lives, too. I am grateful my parents taught me this lesson growing up.
Most of humanity feels depressed, guilty and a bit weighed down by attempting to force close, intimate, strong friendships with family members and old friends solely based on being blood relatives or former buddies when each person shared different values.
Stop trying to force relationships. Connect with resonant folks. One can deeply love family and former friends while spending most time and energy bonding with resonant humans.
Allow friendships to form organically.
About the Author
Ryan Biddulph
Ryan Biddulph helps you learn how to blog at Blogging From Paradise.
Why Mind Training Is Practical
Somewhere along the way, people came up with the phrase “woo woo” for unconventional, non-scientific beliefs. Mystical experiences, spiritual schools of thought
Why You Are Exactly Where You Need to Be
Life fascinates. Ego wants to be somewhere else. The grass seems greener there. Or at least the grass does not seem to
Serene Settings Produce Prolific Results
I routinely create 8 to 10 blog posts or more daily and have done so for months. I do not miss a
Super-Sized Success Requires a Super-Sized Effort
I am caring for a 140 pound Bernese Mountain Dog in NYC now. He just grabbed a 5 foot long stick and
How I Buy Anything I Really Want
My wife often complains that I'm impossible to shop for when it comes to Christmas or my birthday because I already have
Who Should You Help?
I scan various messages daily through my social media accounts. Some folks ask for money. Others ask for assistance in leaving their
How to Pick Good Business Partners
I have aligned with good partners over the years through my blog. Picking good business partners is a skill to hone for
Why Does it Feel Tough to Be Present?
Fear. Fear bonds you to your attachments. Your fear attaches you to things, people, places and circumstances. Example; I sit down to
My Worst Experience As An Ambitious Student
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a step… I had grown up with the dream of becoming a pilot, but
Do Your Critics Carry the Key to Your Success?
I recall a collection of bloggers complaining about big media brands being “content mills”. Forbes, Entrepreneur and Business Insider publish a seeming
Who Did You Learn Business From?
I read Don's excellent recent article: Why Simple Is Better When It Comes to Business He makes a smart point about keeping
Why Do We Fall – Motivational Video
Most of us don't want success badly enough to do what is necessary to get it. Want it? Go get it. Decide.