Disgust: A Catalyst for Change
I recall hearing that my mother-in-law would have 24 hours to live, back in May of 2020.
She was in hospice. Her oxygen levels on the machine hovered around 85, meaning the machine did almost all of her breathing for her.. Literally, if someone turned the machine off, she could not breathe and would die almost immediately. As the nurses read off the litany of thyroid and other medications the hospital administered to her when she was at her life’s end, her lungs literally obliterated, an idea hit me:
on some level, we are farm animals to big pharma, and big pharma stays in business based on our sickness and dependence, not based on our health-wellness and independence from big pharma.
Why pump multiple medications for a thyroid condition and other non-essentials into someone with a few hours to live? Why is someone literally on their hospice morphine drip, their machine being slowly turned down to end their lives, being pumped with thyroid meds and other meds to handle long term, chronic conditions?
First, to keep the profits coming. Second, nurses, doctors and the health care system are literally programmed to administer meds almost like robots. Literally, it is not their fault; human pawns who are helping generously, compassionately and lovingly with kind hearts, rendering tremendous service, are still simply part of the machine, and do as the machine advises humans to do.
Of course, big pharma likely covers itself by controlling various lobbies to legally ensure patients receive all medications until death, a devious and sinister way to protect themselves. But a wave of disgust overtook my being as I waded through grief. My life changed in a split second; one of my purposes going forward would be to help dissolve a system that creates this mass dependence on pills and overall medical madness, by encouraging people to self heal by facing, feeling and releasing their fears, by strengthening their powerful immune systems and by ending this cycle of drug-dependent madness, mainly because humans do not care for themselves mentally and physically.
I felt intuitive nudges from an equal wave of disgust roughly 4 years prior. My mom went into hospice as she suffered from dementia for 4 years, from 2012 to 2016. Slowly, she regressed into darkness, to where she laid in a bed, almost motionless, being force fed to live. She entered hospice in 2016. 4 years later, in 2020, she legally left hospice years ago but has certainly demonstrated a vegetative state about her nature.
She has not spoken a word for the past 4 years. She just stares blankly into space. Disgust coursed through my being in 2016 because I genuinely wished we could help bring her to the other side, to end her suffering. Her worst nightmare was to be in her current state. She told me this for decades. She has lived this nightmare since 2016.
I have since accepted my mom’s soul intended to take this type of human experience journey but mind-ego-worldly Ryan felt angry and quite enraged back in 2016 that the legal system allows us to put our dogs and cats to sleep but we cannot render the same generous, compassionate service for human beings.
Disgust woke me up a wee bit during those days; I got my first taste of a broken system, its laws and the primordial, regressed, deep fear of death and all the suffering, anguish and pain this fear causes. In those first precious moments of realizing a system existed, I decided to edge deeper and deeper into fear so I could inspire more folks to do the same, in part so we could all make clearer, loving decisions as a society that would not cause immense suffering in our loved ones.
Freedom, fun, fulfillment, liberation and peace of mind sometimes comes wrapped in disgust, rage, anger and a pure, absolute despising of some life situation. Never believe living your dreams is a clean, clear journey 100% of the time. Some need to taste the bitter contrast of disgust to open their eyes, to wake up and to see the world clearly from a more loving, compassionate, abundant, truthful perspective.
Pay close attention to any chaotic periods people suffer through on planet earth. Suffering reflects fears humanity needed to face, feel and release in order to grow into predominant love, peace of mind, harmony and abundance. Resisted fear manifest as suffering comes packaged with disgust too. Sometimes, people need to get fed up to actually care about themselves, their lives and their fellow sentient beings.
For most humans, things need to get really bad before they decide to make serious life changes to let things become really good, then, outstanding. Disgust can prove to be a genuine springboard catapulting you from rock bottom to something freeing, fulfilling and liberating for all of humanity.