1 Warning As You Climb Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole of Your Fears
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind with yourself. Release expectations regarding your progress. Love yourself. Accept yourself. As you climb deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole of your fears, highly uncomfortable emotions arise. Why? Imagine observing the slow or sometimes dramatic shattering of your reality. Although your heart yearns for this shift your ego stares in horror at fear-illusions-delusions dissolving before your very eyes.
My parents and society largely taught me the fear-based construct:
“Get a job to pay your bills.”
For a good 6 years of my life, I spent 40 or more hours weekly working jobs to avoid facing my fears of poverty and criticism, aka, to pay my bills. Cover survival needs. Do nothing more. I eventually got laid off from my security guard job and asked:
“Why did I give a decent chunk of my adult life to avoid the fear of poverty? Why did I waste so much time working any job to pay bills?”
I felt deep fear, pain, loss and grief over wasting 6 years of my life, solely because I feared facing fear. I lived a delusion; I chose to live largely based on numbers popping up on a screen and paper, to ensure I paid every single bill. Does that sound like an insane existence? It is. But facing, feeling and releasing my fears fueling my insanity felt highly uncomfortable to my ego because I literally shattered my silly little ego's illusory assumptions of:
- how life should be lived
- how life should be experienced
As you face, feel and release deeper fears, your ego will not enjoy the lies you have been living and the 1 year, 20 years or 60 years – or more – you appeared to waste living in the illusion of fear.
Facing, feeling and releasing deep fears feels uncomfortable and shatters your ego's version of reality but also reveals you literally have no limits. Does an unlimited being devote 1 second of time to avoid facing fears? Nope. Does an unlimited being devote 1 second of time to working jobs to pay bills? Of course not. But making these realizations usually involves periods of:
- rejection of the true nature of reality
- clinging to illusory, delusional, fear-based, untrue versions of reality
- mocking truth-seeers
- labelling truth-seeers as being crazy, insane or flat out dangerous
Guys; the world is not as it seems. Every piece of news is not what it appears to be. Digging deeper into fear – in your mind – reveals the illusory, fear-based, manipulative nature of the news. Imagine if you spent 40 years deeply trusting the main stream media as a reputable source of proven information, basing how you live your life on their honest reporting. How will it feel the moment you realize that the main stream media is in reality:
- manipulating you based on your fear?
- influencing you to fight with fellow humans to divide you?
- publishing a carefully crafted narrative to sway you and to profit?
Most humans will feel disgusted, depressed and disillusioned after making the firm realization that the news media lied to you for 40 years when the news media claimed to be telling you the truth, for your benefit. Be gentle with yourself as you observe illusion-delusion dissolve into reality. Be kind with yourself as you see what is not real dissolve into truth. As I dig deeper into my own intimately personal fears, I sometimes find it very unsettling to see the world largely makes The Matrix movie a documentary. But after my ego feels some discomfort I simply:
- help more people
- uplift more people
- forgive worldly institutions
- forgive myself
- express compassion for scared humans who have yet to climb down their own rabbit hole of fears
- dig deeper into my own fear
Forgive yourself. Stepping out of illusion into reality is no small feat. Feeling fear manifest as grief, loss of decades and a general disgust for being lied to feels highly unpleasant, But releasing these emotions liberates you to be a peaceful, serene soul who influences other humans to take a similar journey.