Why Clinging to the Past Punishes You

by Ryan Biddulph

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Clinging to the past makes you suffer because the past is gone and can never be re-created, re-manufactured or even re-enjoyed.

Humans can enjoy *memories* of the past but the person you become cannot possibly re-live the past because time is an illusion.

Imagine yourself grasping at thin air. Every time, you come up empty. Air is technically a tangible thing but human senses cannot physically grab it as one grabs a ball, door or other dense object. Air will always remain out of your grasp, just like the past will always remain at of your grasp.

You Are a Different Person Now

I edit and update 2-4 posts daily on my blog. Currently, I am editing and updating posts from 2014.

Back then, I linked to blogs I would never link to now, presumed fellow bloggers were my good friends after we barely built bonds and made other fear-based mistakes that created quite a few blogging struggles for me.

I can clearly see this now because I blog more from energies of love and truth versus the fear and illusion I heavily clung to in 2014. 2020 me is light years ahead of 2014 me so I let go the past, deleted dozens of links and removed all of my faux-friend references to reflect the more posturing blogger and being I am today.

But if I clung to the past I'd fear deleting links and faux friend mentions, guilt would set in, I'd keep both and my old posts would not gain traction on social and search because of my fear-based attachment to how things were. Lose-lose scenario. I lose and my readers lose.

Let go the past because the person you were will never be, again. Accept who you are now. Be at peace with the present.

Suffering Reminds You to Let Go What You Can Never Have Again

My wife and I loved visiting a tiny village in Thailand for a few years. We enjoyed the first 2 trips more from a momentary perspective versus romanticizing the past.

After 2 trips to the village we received an opportunity to do a house sit in the village but sight-unseen. Wow! Serendipity, right!


Our fear-based attachment to the past fun visits in the village blinded our judgment.

We found the house sit on a Facebook Group with no peer review system, no trust factors and to make matters worse, we saw no photos of the place before accepting the sit. We broke every one of our house sitting rules because the past and its fears influence you to buy into an illusion and to ignore the truth-reality in front of your eyes.

My wife and I only accepted our 40 plus prior house sits through 2 trusted, credible sites prior with peer reviews, vetting processes for both sitters and homeowners and ample images for both parties to make informed decisions.

The homeowners were sweet but I had a horrible experience for 2 months. While my wife booked an air conditioned apartment in a nearby city for the 2nd month, I:

  • suffered through 107 degree temperatures in a tiny little house with no air conditioning, a 10 year old, weak fan, and no indoor furniture (no chairs, no couches, just a floor to sit on inside and a trampoline to sleep on….I am not kidding)
  • ran into temporary business struggles in part because I was sleep-deprived, miserable and living in a poverty conscious environment

I clung to the past, romanticized a town and was summarily punished for making a foolish decision. I owned the decision, learned from the experience and now I feel much better writing these words from a 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom show home with a lake front view in a posh Connecticut town, thank you, on my current house sit. Every sit we landed sit the rough Thailand job has been top notch, too.

Being present by not clinging to the past makes life a wee bit easier.

The past cannot beat you up and the present rewards you with infinite possibilities when you are in the now.

About the Author 

Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph helps you learn how to blog at Blogging From Paradise.

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