I spent the past 30 minutes scanning my email to handle stuff. Typically I spend 5 minutes in email. Nothing good, bad or in between happened but I felt uncomfortable doing things I was not familiar doing.
I held this intent: look within, observe your body and see what manifests. What manifested? Oodles of tension in my face, left finger and general bodily craziness with little fitful surges of energy. Did observing my tension mindfully feel comfortable? No. Not at all.
I experienced some freeing growth today. I feel grateful for the growth. But I also – for the first genuine time – MINDFULLY sat, observed and flat out felt all bodily tension arising as I grew. I embraced the frenzied mind, racing thoughts and strong tension in my left index finger, face-mouth and the energy coursing through my being felt a big maddening.
Welcome to growing.
Welcome to deciding to grow, to be free and to liberate yourself from lesser levels of fear.
Some tension arose due to me prospering almost effortlessly through a few different channels. I feel more comfortable earning through my passive income streams. But ego and its fears felt a bit more uncomfortable receiving money and billing clients invoices for, in essence, found money.
I also raised my rates recently; making easier money at substantially higher rates felt uncomfortable to my ego because it kinda blew some ego-fear assumptions completely out of the water. Ouch ego, ouch.
I felt tension receiving easy money because some of my ego believes you need to work hard and long for money. But I felt even greater tension knowing the extra 25 minutes I spent emailing clients, invoicing and doing other business stuff ate into the time and energy I normally devote to writing and publishing guest posts.
People sometimes believe growth is all sunshine, roses, freedom, peace and good-feeling vibes. But growth also involves mindfully feeling fear, tension and discomfort as ego chines you for:
- making more money relatively effortlessly
- seizing prospering opportunities EVICTING you from your comfort zone
- living in the moment
Ego loves comfort, misery, depression and unhappiness. Growing involves leaving comfort, misery, depression and unhappiness behind. Making this shift involves facing, feeling and releasing fears fueling highly uncomfortable emotions, sometimes.
Such is growth.
….how much you grow, another level of discomfort and growth awaits you. Icons routinely share how fear and discomfort awaited them the moment they leveled up.
Specialists in one endeavor profess feeling flat out terrified to edge into other scary endeavors. One highly successful college basketball coach who recruited top high school players with ease shared how he felt deeply scared to propose to his wife. He could convince future millionaire, NBA hoopers to play for his college team but felt terrified to ask his wife for her hand in marriage.
No matter how much you grow there is a new level of fear, discomfort and unpleasant feelings sandwiched into fun, freedom and liberation on the worldly plane.
Who Is Beyond Growth?
Enlightened beings are beyond growth because enlightened souls are beyond worldly living, duality, judgment and concepts like growth and expansion. Living from a purely selfless energy of love and full acceptance puts fear, and discomfort, in your rear view window.
But you and I do not need to worry about reaching this level beyond growth, this fearless state of grace, comfort and ease.