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Do You Do it from Good or Guilt?

by Ryan Biddulph

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Imagine a scenario where you as a young, single adult, genuinely want to circle the globe for 6 months because doing so would feel good, freeing, fulfilling and fascinating.

But you decide against your globetrotting tip because you need to stay home to be around family.

Why do you need to stay home? Home is where the heart is. Ego deceives you into believing it feels good to stay home around family, friends and familiarity, and domestic conditioning. But in most cases, guilt scares you into staying home.

Resentment builds. Ego tries to convince you staying home feels good, comfortable, familiar and “the right thing to do” because “your family needs you” but you honestly fear facing guilty emotions of leaving your family for 3 months. Mom and dad may even guilt you for their own selfish interests. Brothers and sisters may also guilt you because if you leave for 6 months they need to deal with mom and dad, on their own, without your help.

I feel blessed because I largely observed no resistance from fam during my 10 year world travels but I did hit some stiff heaviness during a rough patch once. How did I handle it? I chose good over guilt. I listened to my freeing intuition and chose to do something fun, freeing and fulfilling, even though the choice forced me to face, feel and release some deep, pulsating guilt I had backburnered for a long time.

Good or Guilt?

How many choices do you make for your good? How many choices do you make because you feel guilty and wish not to avoid the consequences of facing, feeling and flat out bathing in the heavy emotion of guilt, for fear of appearing to be selfish?

Deciding to do something because you feel guilty always leads to pain, suffering, anger, resentment and depression because cowering to guilt forces you to act from fear, not love. Fear-decisions bring you fear-states and fear-results. Rage, resentment, anger and a blanket, PO-ed feeling fester for days, months and years in guilty people, being held prisoner by their own fears, refusing to make loving, freeing, fun choices, blaming other humans for their own scared, guilt-driven, decisions.

Make choices for your good, not because you feel guilty in dealing with other human beings. The single 30 year old needs to follow their dreams to circle the globe. Grown adults who happen to be moms, dads, brothers and sisters are unlimited beings who can take care of themselves. If moms, dads, brothers and sisters choose to see themselves in another way, that choice is their decision as a grown adult living their own life, that has nothing to do with you and your dreams.

Remember; there are 10s, 100s, 1000s or more human beings who can do the job you feel guilted into now because 10, 100, 1000 or more humans who live from love, compassion, kindness and generosity, embodying the energy and skills needed to get the job done, can and will befriend family, care for family and fill the need you fear yourself guilted into now.

Be brutally honest with yourself in addressing what you do now from good-feeling love or bad-feeling guilt.

Decide from good over guilt to allow all to benefit from your freeing but sometimes uncomfortable-feeling choice.

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About the Author 

Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph helps you learn how to blog at Blogging From Paradise.

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