Old school me had a small group of friends and not much else.
I did socialize. But I rarely actually met and talked to new people. Strangers? Forget about it.
I felt comfortable with such a hideaway scenario but suffered emotionally. I regularly lashed out at strangers who offered feedback, deeming their honest, tactful opinion as nasty criticism. Sometimes I acted like a flat out child when dealing with people outside of my friend network. I had a tough time with life because I did not learn how to interact with humanity gracefully, calmly and confidently.
The biggest drawback to largely hiding from humanity is a lesson I learned the hard way: not meeting new people and socializing with them, learning how to work with them, dating, befriending, unfriending, and heck, not developing the skill of interacting with humanity regresses you toward childhood, emotionally.
Shut-in's become:
- defensive
- easily embarrassed
- easily ashamed
- terrified of criticism
- combative
- angry
- bitter
any time shut-in's become forced to deal with human beings outside of their comfort zone. Even worse? Shut-in's project their fear-pain onto the few people they know, blaming loved ones for their emotional regression, zero social skills and overall terror of dealing with the world.
Wifey and I
Me and my wife became the polar opposite of someone hiding from humanity about a decade ago. We began circling the globe.
Traveling forces you to meet, greet and socialize with all types of folks hailing from different cultures. Even better? We had no choice but to learn how to interact with a wide range of personality types more common to certain cultures.
We did the full 180 bit from being shut-in's. Kelli and I stepped into the world.
Learning the skill of:
- working with human beings
- conversing with human beings
- ending relationships with human beings
- beginning friendships with human beings
- receiving feedback from human beings
- being criticized by human beings
when those human beings were flat out strangers, or folks we barely knew, allowed us to evolve into highly emotional intelligent individuals. My emotional intelligence may not be through the roof but I am largely calm, cool and collected dealing with friends, casual friends and utter strangers, through a wide gamut of experiences.
Pay the Price of Being a Shut In
Decades ago, I suffered horribly after my first breakup because I was largely a shut in prior to the relationship. I rarely if ever chatted with people outside of my tiny friend network.
Dealing with those difficult emotions allowed me to get out into the world, learning how to interact with strangers, new bonds, and allowing me to make more and more friends with folks from all over the globe.
Hiding away from the world cuts you off from humanity and its support. But digging deeper, mental and physical illness follows. While 7 billion human beings wait to meet you, you become heavily attached to and dependent upon 1, 4 or 5 people, putting your entire world on their shoulders, devolving you into the emotional state of a small child as you entirely lose your inter-personal skills.
Perhaps seeing a 4 year old throw a fit when an adult speaks clearly but politely to them – because the kid hates not getting their own way – seems cute, but observing a 50 year old throw the same fit because of their basement level emotional intelligence due to their hiding from humanity does not seem quite as endearing.
Get out in the world. Meet people. Learn how to let criticism roll off of your back. Get comfortable with being rejected. Make friends. Enjoy the sweet benefits of building a large, loyal friend network. Learn how to work with all types of folks.
Life is for experiencing interactions with other human beings.
You and I are social creatures.
Hiding away in a cave is dying a little more each day.
Get out in the world.
Make friends, get help, offer help and tap into the beautiful One-ness of humanity.
