I stared at the shower about 30 minutes ago. After I meditated for 20 minutes. Meditating went kinda smoothly. But my back hurt, my neck felt stiff and my mind raced ahead in fear, for moments. Facing, embracing and releasing these fears felt unpleasant. But I proceeded.
Anyway, my mind told me to not step into the icy cold shower for fear of the unpleasant sensation of cold water hitting Ryan Biddulph body. The folks here in upstate New York draw on well water. Wells typically sit 200-300 feet deep in most parts. Cold water blesses me for my icy cold, daily morning showers….until the cold water almost scares me into NOT hopping into the shower.
Few people tell you: personal development feels terrible, scary, unpleasant, terrifying, horrifying, and painful, really painful, sometimes. Even for guys like me who spent a decade and 1000's upon 1000's of hours meditating, doing Kriya yoga, doing yin yoga and spending time in an icy cold shower.
Folks who become more and more liberated face, feel and embrace these fears and move on. Everybody shrinks from the fears, avoids the discomforts, turns around and becomes more deeply enslaved by their fears.
Not the Dalai Lama….
Some call me The Blogging Buddha. I always seem to talk about meditating and doing Kriya yoga to aid your blogging campaign. But I live a worldly life. I am no spiritual master. I am not The Dalai Lama.
He meditates 8 hours daily. He trained spiritually since he was 4 years old. He IS enlightened, meaning, he does not identify with his thoughts, feelings or body. He is liberated from the fears you and I suffer from because he does not identify with these waves of energy flowing through his mind, like Christ, Buddha, Babaji and other spiritual masters before him.
I have talked to people who met His Holiness. One friend reported seeing his eyes turn an icy blue, crystal color, on meeting him. His Holiness grinned. He is the epitome of humble but also knows deep down he is living spirit, a God-germ.
Why? He gave his life to spiritual growth.
You and I do not give our life to spiritual growth. Naturally, our meditating sessions tend to be peaceful sometimes and bumpy other times. Ditto for Kriya yoga sessions. I may burst out in tears after a tensing session, releasing long buried fears.
But after releasing the deep fear-tears, I feel better, more calm and more prolific. You see? You and I benefit. I write another guest post for us because I faced, felt and released fears, during bumpy personal development sessions, for both of us.
Know that engaging in personal development for 10's, then 100's then 1000's of hours does bring a predominant peace of mind, knowing in abundance, calm and serenity. But in short moments, following a diligent personal development campaign feels rough, intensely scary and sometimes, even a little bit maddening.
Few folks tell you this stuff. I had to let you know because being 100% on brand, I do not sugar coat things.
Do NOT use this bad-feeling deal as an excuse to cower from your personal growth regimen. Proceed! Move forward. Simply be gentle with yourself during moments of emotional tenderness.
Cry, grieve or feel crappy for a bit. Clear those fears. Feel better and better.
Overall, you genuinely will feel good during and after meditating or yoga sessions. Facing the stiff chill of an icy cold shower gets easier and easier – talk to your doctor first – even if the sensation of cold water on human meat triggers fears, in mind.
Liberate yourself from fear. Live from a vibe of love.
Ride out the bumps to see your journey through.