“Why don't you look in the mirror?”
Negative connotation here, eh?
Rarely have I heard someone utter this famous phrase from a positive, high energy, compassionate energy. Most speak the words:
- bracing you for the harsh truth
- preparing you for the sting of reality
- projecting their fear-anger-pain onto you, advising you to look in the mirror because they see you as some jerk
Guilty as charged. On all counts. I sometimes advise how looking in the mirror is a rough, painful experience. True. Sometimes, it is. But largely, looking in the mirror is a positive concept. The split second you own your life 100% – or close to 100% – you liberate yourself from everything and everyone.
My wife sold the house. We will become full time, homeless, digital nomads going forward. Renting houses and doing house sits will be oodles of fun and quite freeing, too. But we also feel the fear, pain and grief of:
- letting go home base for our world travel exploits
- releasing her mom as my mother-in-law passed away 2 short months ago
- releasing the 3 fur babies aka kitties
We found loving homes for 2 cats seamlessly. But my favorite kitty – Delilah – took a different journey. Largely, I remained calm about the whole process. I maintained the attitude, “It is done!” and handed her over to the universe, to find a loving home.
But my fears arose during the process. I looked in the mirror. Scary, painful and uncomfortable, liberating myself from my attachment to Delilah and my attachment to finding her a home has been fascinating to observe. Also, facing the fear-horror of having to put her down as a possibility as she is 16 and spry, but would do absolutely terrible in a shelter, was interesting, too.
Calm then Wild Ride
About 6 weeks ago, we decided to sell the home. Someone picking up free stuff from the house loved Delilah on seeing her; a cat lady. She made a tentative promise to take her. But on returning home, no go. She could not. Didn't work out. Fell through one time.
Someone promised to take her no matter what, after that. But recently, circumstances changed, and the person could not take her. We understood. Fell through two times.
Someone else promised to adopt her but again, circumstances changed, and she turned down the opportunity to take Delilah. We understood. Fell through three times.
Someone else agreed to take her but the opportunity dissolved due to unforeseen circumstances. No worries. We understood. Fell through four times. Fear set in. We need to vacate about 10 days from now, likely. The 4th “no” came 2 short days ago.
I felt calm during the process largely, but any time my fears arose, I looked in the mirror. How could I blame anyone who promised to take her but changed their mind? Life changes. In one moment, you promise something. But down the road, it simply doesn't work out.
Versus judging humans I appreciated their kindness in extending an offer, and moved on. Looking in the mirror is the only way you live from a calm, peaceful, trusting vibe, in a world of human-ness.
Plus, 2 of these awesome, loving folks would have actually taken her no matter what, to prevent her from going to a shelter. How's that for the power of love? I could not place her in their homes though; it did not feel right because although she'd be loved by these folks, the situation would have been too stressful for all involved.
Positive Mirror-Facing Sessions
Any fears I felt had nothing to do with Delilah or other people, but 100% to do with MY fears. Mirror-facing sessions proved this positive truth to me.
Looking in the mirror is the most loving, uplifting things you can do…even if it feels a little rough along the way.
PS…..we found a loving home for Delilah. 100% guaranteed this time. Perfect scenario for the situation too. Everything works out how it needs to work out. If you look in the mirror.