I saw a few messages on social media recently.
I had to tune these folks out. I do like these people. Perhaps I see them as friends, on some level. But I quickly – or slowly – learned how some people deserve none of my attention and energy. Why? I have compassion for these folks but 100% of past interactions between us dripped with fear from their end.
Some friends only reach out to me asking for Paypal donations. This crowd fears losing all of their money. Other friends reach out always asking for favors. This crowd fears working generously, intelligently and persistently, so all favors asked for would manifest organically.
Be careful; eventually, people will tune you out if all of your asks originate from an energy of fear, self-service and egotistical leanings.
Self-Service or Service?
As a rule of thumb, I generally ask no one for help because I am too busy helping people. Peep my guest posting schedule. Every day, I publish 3-5 guest posts. I also publish 1-2 posts on Blogging From Paradise.
Versus asking people to retweet my blog posts I simply write another guest post directing readers to my blog – via the author bio – but more importantly, serving human beings. I could ask 5 or 10 people for retweet help or I could help 5 or 10 people with guest posts that drives thousands of people to my blog, eBooks, courses and services.
Asking 5 or 10 people only drives a few dozen or perhaps hundreds of folks to my blog and business. Plus eventually, a certain type of help-annoyance sets in. I love helping people because the more I help people, the more help I get without asking someone.
I also avoid the dreaded tune-out.
People who always ask for help focus on self-service. HEY, YOU HELP ME! Most humans get annoyed with self-serving folks because you and I tune out selfish, desperate, greedy people.
But generous servants bore into our hearts. We naturally help people who help us because we show love to people who show love to us, first.
The Tune Out
The more you beg someone for help, pitch people desperately and only ask for help without helping people, the more you influence people to tune you out. I tune out more than a few folks because most desperate people are too deluded to read signals.
For example, I do not reply to a message but the desperate, fear-driven person asks me the same question twice, three times or even 5 times. I tend to tune people out permanently after 3 asks because abusing my time, filling my inbox and asking for help incessantly without helping me violates my trust.
I gladly open a few communication channels but using these avenues irresponsibly guarantees I tune you out forever. Succeeding online becomes impossible if you force all pro bloggers to tune you out because these pros endorse you, promote you, teach you and open prospering doors for you, if you network generously and genuinely.
Help before you need help. Gain trust. People gladly help generous, genuine individuals, many times before you even ask for help.