I set an intent a few months ago.
Live and let live.
I held an intent to allow my wife to live her life. My dad could live his life, too. Ditto for my mother in law. I let her live her life. From friends to family, I simply allowed people to live their lives without interfering in any way, shape or form.
Although I did not make a blanket decision to surrender fully to the moment, I rarely offer unsolicited advice to anyone. I focus almost 100% of my attention and energy to living my life and taking care of my own shop by helping people who want my help.
Holding this intent promoted my peace of mind like nothing else. Instantly, all manipulative fears and related anxieties largely dissolved. No longer did I warn people in my life of their mistakes. I allowed people to screw up. Sometimes, people suffered deep pain because I did not step in. But realizing that every person needs to suffer to learn – sometimes – helped me make peace with their suffering.
Live and Let Live
Every human being lives a different experience. You and I learn particularly intimate lessons by making rough mistakes. I became more fearless and quite serene after losing all of my money three times. Thank goodness nobody butted in and became my sugar mama; I had to face, feel and release the fear of losing it all to be, feel and act abundant.
Live and let live. Live your life. Allow people to live their own lives. Be at peace with your life. Be equally at peace with how ever people live their lives, especially if you allow them to fail horribly. Horrible failure arrives with powerful lessons built in.
Anxiety dissolves into calm the split second you cease manipulating people. Worries about controlling people vanish. Peace surfaces.
My Ultimate Lesson in Surrender
My mom became diagnosed with a long term illness in 2012. Surrendering to the experience allowed me to accept her soul's experience. She has basically been vegetative for 2 years. I officially lived and allowed *her* to live her experience over 3 years ago after much grieving, crying and sobbing. Now I am completely at peace with her terminal illness.
Do you know how easy it is to let your wife live her life and make her decisions after accepting your mom's ravaging terminal illness through 100% surrender and allowance? Quite easy, folks. My wife and I love each other so deeply that we allow each other to experience a wide range of emotions and circumstances for our fulfillment, freedom and dare I say, scant enlightenment?
Everybody Needs Specific Experiences
My wife believes I am borderline saintly – joking – for my poise, balance and clear-thinking in potentially stressful situations. Why do people call me “The Blogging Buddha”? I experienced – and felt, and released – my mom's Alzheimmer's regression into a violent hell and successive vegetative state, along with mental and sexual abuse as a child.
Each experience had to be allowed to unfold to purge me of deep fears and pains that made me the serene, generous, poised person I am today. Imagine if someone tried to protect me from these traumatic experiences? I'd still be clinging to deep fear, pain and grief, and I'd live a boring, mediocre life focused on trying to survive and serve myself, versus thriving and serving others.
Live your life. Allow other people to live their specific experiences for growth, exploration and fulfillment. Help people who come to you for advice. But stop offering unsolicited advice.
Live and let live.