Is Your Dream Your Dream?

I watched a movie preview a few moments ago.

NBA star and now filmmaker Kevin Durant plans to release an autobiography on the life of basketball star Stephon Marbury. I followed Steph's career, all the way from Coney Island, Brooklyn, to the NBA, to the pro basketball league in China.

Stephon may have been one of the more talented guards to ever play in the NBA but he never won consistently, often failing to gel with teams. Drilling deeper, he seemed to be at war with himself, being largely unhappy.

Marbury found happiness in China. He became a hero in that country and finally realized his dream was to succeed in the world's largest nation.

But he reached that point only after being blackballed by the NBA due to a very public mental breakdown he broadcast via video.

What was Stephon's problem? He spent most of his life living other people's dreams. He never lived his dreams.

The Chosen One

Stephon Marbury. Dajuan Wagner. Basketball freaks of nature who exuded borderline NBA talent at 15, these two players wore “The Chosen One” mantel as grade school kids. Stephon was the pride of Coney Island while Dajuan was the pride of Camden, New Jersey. Both players never became flat out NBA superstars and champions because society – specifically, adults in their neighborhoods – chose them as their saviors and placed a ridiculous burden on the bodies and minds of spindly little kids.

Stephon was programmed to believe his dream was to exit the ghettos of Coney Island to give hope to his neighborhood and to support family and friends financially. Never mind grown adults putting their hopes, dreams and financial future on a 10 year old child with insane hooping skills.

Marbury never got to be a kid. He carried unexpressed fear, pain, rage, bitterness, resentment and jealousy with him his entire life, until his well known break down, when the energies dissipated. At that point, I feel he chose to live his dreams for the first time. Being relegated to China became his ultimate blessing. He helped make basketball even more global. No expectations, either. Chinese fans embraced him with loving arms.

Via a long, winding path, he finally chose to live his dreams versus trying to live the dreams of people around him.

Do You Dream Your Dreams?

Or do you dream what your parents said you should dream? One of my childhood friends found himself hounded by his mom to be a doctor. He went to pre-med for a semester, dropped out, moved to San Francisco, started a family and has never been happier. He stopped dreaming his mom's dreams, dreamed his own dreams and set his course by his dreams.

Whose life do you live? Do you genuinely want to do what you intend to do? Be honest with yourself. Most people live according to the vision of their parents because parental conditioning runs deep. I simply got a job and paid bills until I was 35 because I did what everybody around me did. No dreams flowed from my mind.

But being fed up with working long, hard hours at my security guard job woke me up. I tired of being bound and knew I had to dream big dreams to liberate myself from a boring, unhappy life of paying bills, being distracted by working a lifeless job, and hanging out with friends on the weekends.

Live Your Life

Dream your ideal life. Then live it. Do your parents, friends or relatives plan to live your life? Why would you live their dreams versus living your dreams? Let go their vision for your ideal life. Create your intimate, personalized vision.

Make sure your dreams are genuinely your dreams.