fbpx

Find the Happy Medium Behind Torturing Yourself and Aversion


by Ryan Biddulph

All products and services featured on this site are independently selected by our authors and editors. If you buy something through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

In 2016 at this time I lived in the remote jungles of Costa Rica. Amazing experience. I would not trade the 6 weeks for anything in the world because I lived among rare, wild creatures, I immersed myself in the perfectly stable vibe of nature and felt a peace I had not experienced prior, being 3 hours away from the next human being.

I also faced sheer terror, embraced a few dark night of the soul moments and eventually realized me and my wife were torturing ourselves by spending 6 weeks in a hut without electricity or plumbing.

We had outgrown the experience after 6 full weeks being detached from humanity and modern conveniences so we cut the trip short and flew home to America. Staying longer would have been counter productive because we grew through the experience until that point but as my body broke down, I saw myself regressing, by sticking around.

Aversion?

Initially, I felt a twinge of regret along with a wave of excitement when me and my wife accepted the house sit. I enjoyed being off the grid and relished facing deep fears, too. But I felt averse to being 3 hours away from the nearest human. I also knew I would sleep terrible on a straw bed with a ratty, hole-filled, mosquito net. I only slept 3-4 hours most days. Fatigue crept in.

I had to sit with the emotions of trying to avoid an uncomfortable, scary experience that would also feel fun, freeing, amazing and enlightening. Most of us avoid situations both freeing and fear-filled because we shy away from discomfort. The trick is to honestly assess when you are avoiding an important experience because you fear facing discomfort or when you are torturing yourself and need to move on from an old, worn out, damaging experience

India Red Flag

I almost died in India during our 2013 trip. I became dangerously dehydrated after suffering through giardia. One quick trip to the emergency room and 3 bags of fluids later moved my pulse from feeble to strong but I took valuable lessons with me, including an intimate knowledge of when my body began to break down physically in life-threatening fashion.

I observed the same warning signs in Costa Rica at the 5 week period of our trip. After consuming only 400-600 calories daily for 5 weeks – we had no refrigeration and I had to subsist on dry vegetarian food and little else – and sleeping for 3-4 hours most nights, I became depleted, borderline anemic and my back began to give out on a daily basis.

Soon enough, I would be back in the emergency room with either dangerous levels of dehydration or some nasty illness. I immediately realized that I was torturing myself by staying and called the homeowner from town to let him know we were leaving in a week.

Benefit then Move On

Benefit from freeing but uncomfortable experiences but move on immediately when the lessons taught becomes a living torture. Honor your intuitive nudges. Your gut always knows when you avoid growth versus extending torture. Life is not punishment but prospering. Everybody slams into resistance. All people face fears and suffer sometimes. But spotting the difference between sticking around scary situations to learn freeing but painful lessons versus punishing yourself with circumstances you've outgrown is critical to your continued growth.

Learn to discern the difference between sticking around for an uncomfortable, freeing lesson and moving on from a situation you've outgrown, before you get in real trouble.

About the Author 

Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph helps you learn how to blog at Blogging From Paradise.

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

I saw a few messages on social media recently. I had to tune these folks out. I do like these people. Perhaps

Read More
Be Careful or You Will Be Tuned Out

What makes you think you are right? Have you ever gotten into an argument with a person who believes they are always

Read More
Are You Sure About That?

Human beings are an odd lot. Humans pass memes to one another. Most humans trust these memes solely because: some people experiencing

Read More
1 Meme Guaranteeing Your Failure

My wife and I took a long walk Sunday with the dogs, and on our way back, I challenged her to do

Read More
How to Interval Run Your Way to Success

I enjoyed the most uplifting hike through the forest a few moments ago. But I also got lost, turned around, incredibly soaked

Read More
Taking New Journeys Means Getting Lost Sometimes

Warren Buffett, one of the richest men in the world, a household name on Wall Street, had this to say about the

Read More
Warren Buffett Reveals the Best Investment You Can Make

There was a time when I was surrounded by people I now refer to as proponents of impossibility. If a creative idea

Read More
Impossible

I stared at the shower about 30 minutes ago. After I meditated for 20 minutes. Meditating went kinda smoothly. But my back

Read More
What Few People Tell You About Personal Development

10:27 PM. Sunday night. I know that 1 hour and 33 minutes expires before Monday greets me. I will likely still be

Read More
Why the Trying to Find Time Excuse Is Not Valid

On the road again….. My wife and I sit in an extended stay hotel room. We needed a pet friendly place for

Read More
Do You Follow Fun or Fear?

A few days ago, my wife hired another lady for her cleaning business which has been taking off with several new recurring

Read More
Little Things Matter: One Fundamental Tip for Success

Photo by Alena Jarrett on Unsplash While some are more than just professionals in being confident enough, no matter their surroundings, for

Read More
30 Ways to Delude Your Mind into Feeling More Confident

SUBSCRIBE

Get new articles and course discounts from leading providers every Friday in your inbox with your free subscription!

>