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How Frequently Do You Turn Down Help?

by Ryan Biddulph

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No, I got it.

I have it.

Please; I don't need your help.

Rewind. Think back to how many times these words flowed out of your mouth. I always turned down help as a younger person. Pride, a lone wolf mentality and a certain arrogance prevented me from getting help. I loved doing things solo. What a massive, monumental, terrible mistake I made.

Until my early 30's I coasted through life because I closed myself off from help. I was an OK basketball player but of course, instead of asking for specific feedback from coaches or listening to their advice I just blamed them for my lack of playing time. Help offered, I pushed away.

This pattern continued as I hopped from job to job through my early 30's. I had the ultimate wake up call during my early blogging career.

Wake Up Call

After leaving the 9-5 behind, I struggled horribly with blogging for a few years because no entrepreneur succeeds solo. I published a high volume of posts to my blog and asked for nobody's help, feedback or advice in the process. Nor did I build a friend network to amplify my reach.

I finally understood how happy, successful, wealthy people build networks and everybody else looks for a job.

I offer help regularly these days but ask for help freely and open up to receive feedback in all I do. Blogging – and life – became easier the moment I backburnered my pride and asked for help.

How Can You Ask for Help?

Think of help you need. Maybe you are a working mom who needs help raising your young family. Perhaps you need help caring for your special needs child. Maybe you need to hand off the role of caregiver to a professional after helping your terminally ill wife for years. Overwhelmed entrepreneurs should be screaming for help; we wear too many hats as it is.

We all need help. The happiest, most successful people ask for and receive help freely. Observe Richard Branson. He became a billionaire by hiring an army of helpful, skilled, experienced people who built the Virgin empire. He may be the best example of an entrepreneur who outsources like a genius. He does a fair amount by his own steam and allows his employees to handle everything else.

Let Go the Solo Act

No human goes far solo because we were engineered to work together. Let go the solo act. Stop trying to figure it out on your own. Stop trying to promote yourself alone, around the clock. Make friends. Accept help.

Friends make life easier, then, easy, when you surround yourself with loving folks. I think of most people, who choose to close themselves off from the world, and struggle because they never ask for help and can never seem to get help.

Finding someone to do home improvement work seems difficult to these people because they have few friends for referrals, and know not who to trust. A while back, my dad had extensive work done on his home. Within days, he had 3-5 or more painters, floor folks and waste disposal people to choose from. Why? My dad is a social creature who surrounds himself with loving, loyal friends. He has unlimited help in his phone contact list.

Stop turning down help. Stop cutting yourself off from assistance.

Humble yourself. Ask for help. Make friends. Make life easier.

  • That’s a hard lesson to learn, Ryan. I think the movies have made it seem like if we aren’t the lone hero, we’re a failure, yet it’s hard to think of any successful large scale project that has not enlisted the help of a lot of people.

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    About the Author 

    Ryan Biddulph

    Ryan Biddulph helps you learn how to blog at Blogging From Paradise.

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